something for myself

i should do something for myself. i should do something for myself. i should do something for my self. i should do something for myself. i should do something for myself.

keep my mind busy.

knitting. baking cakes. kite surfing. painting on ceramics. folding origami. growing healing herbs. creating new fragrances. yoga. thai boxing. embroidering napkins. aromatherapy. storing sun dried tomatoes. a course to recognize precious stones. dancing salsa. pedicure. manicure. hairdo. wax. sculpting coloured&scented candles. making chocolate eggs. feeding kittens in the street. charitable acts. stop smoking. studying Maths.

autism.

autism.

closure.

i should do something for me. stop thinking. i need a life coach. some explanations about how to stab people and be happy. all you've ever wanted to know about (un)human (mis)relationships in 10 lessons. how to ask someone else's help without feeling a loser.

depression.

sadness.

and emptiness.

when you give too much of yourself, then you realize you didn't keep enough for you: it's like a blanket, too small. you cover one side of your body and it doesn't cover the other side too. and you freeze.

same thing for feelings. it doesn't matter if there are 45 Celsius degree outside: people in this place install a/c even in their hearts so they keep themselves cool and don't burn their minds for something which is not money or big cars or blond russians.

(November 21, 2007)