Junk Food

ohmmioddio! questo cibo pakistano (namkeen) mi sta uccidendo... e' tutto il giorno che mi risale... direi che i seemeen e/o mombar egiziani vari non sono niente a confronto...

Rude Girl

non so perche' la mia collega Reema mi dice sempre che sono rude con la gente...
eppure ultimamente non faccio che ascoltare canzoni d'amore...
le tracks della mia piu' recente top 3:
1. E fuori e' buio (Tiziano Ferro)
2. La mia storia tra le dita (Gianluca Grignani)
3. Ain't no sunshine (Al Green)

Horror Illness Void

Horror.
Illness.
Void.

H.I.V.
i got my blood test on wednesday and i'm clean.

MY MUM IS COMING!!!!

22nd-29 April.

Italian Elections

three days ago, i received a blank e-mail from my brother containing a link to You Tube...

the subject was "lol", so i didn't know what he was talking about and i checked the link.

well, i got on the official hymn of "Popolo della Liberta'" (the recycled italian right-wing party, led by silvio berlusconi) for the upcoming elections of 13th-14th april. the title of this masterpiece (and the main refrain) says "Menomale che Silvio c'e'" (which in english sounds more or less like "Thank God there is Silvio" - Berlusconi, of course!) and the video shows carpenters, teachers, students, taxi drivers, young call-centres employees and other kinds of workers being happy and smiling and thanking God for having given italy someone like silvio berlusconi.

i wonder why there are no lawyers and/or public prosecutors in this video! (check on the net if you can find some information in english on his trials for corruption and other nice stuff - even maphia... maybe on You Tube there is still an old episode of the american tv show "Grand Angle" about his power: very interesting!)

now:

1) how can someone be happy and smile (especially call-centres employees earning 500 euros per months illegally) and live in italy? do they understand how this guy fucked our country? (of course i'm not talking about people in the video: i guess they got paid for it, i hope they were not volunteers! but there still are millions of italians following and trusting this guy...)

2) i am disgusted from him, his party, his collaborators and his politics. and actually i'm disgusted from italian politics in general: the left-wing is boneless, that's why he has all this power.

3) THIS GUY KNOWS WHAT MARKETING IS! AND HE KNOWS THE POWER OF MEDIA ON PEOPLE'S MIND! AND UNFORTUNATELY HE IS THE ONLY ONE IN ITALY TO UNDERSTAND THESE THINGS...

i swear that i'm sorry, but "i have to admit" that he is clever.

but this does not make him a good man anyway.

p.s.: click on the post title to check the video "Menomale che Silvio c'e'"... lol?

Someone...

i'm sure that somehow i will find someone somewhere. somewhen... (December 6, 2007)

Everyone is Special

everyone is special. and for me, all the guys i met were special. because it was not only sex. because i loved every single one of them. for my whole life. for two years. for three months. for five days. for one night. for fifteen minutes. even for one second which meant a lot to me.

i don't care about the appearance. if i like someone it's because there is something in his mind that i find attractive.

and for everyone of them i have a little madeleine.

but i'm not gonna mention all my madeleines, for the simple reason that some are too important to be talked about. or because i don't feel like.

JJ = Salvador Allende's posters hung on the walls.

Rash aka "the nameless" = Huge sad black eyes even while smiling.

Nour = His daughter's picture.

Game = Talking on folding camping chairs in Mina Zayed at 4 AM.

Firas = An annoying voice.

Fabio = A Lebanese face with a Pisan accent.

Musa = A positive HIV test.

Il Sudan = British accent. And a swimming pool in the night.

Antonio = A beautiful mind hidden behind a rude behaviour.

Mohamed #3 = An empty room.

(December 5, 2007)

Islands & Bridges

men are islands. but it's like in Venice: islands have bridges to be connected to each other and don't drift away. so you cannot disconnect men from the others as you cannot disconnect facts and feelings which are linked to two or more people.

sad black eyes.

sweet smile.

brown skin.

childlike figure.

red&black-striped t-shirt.

desire-speedy heartbeat-dumbness-suspiciousness-lust-disgust-relax-speedy heartbeat #2-hope-anger-happiness-care-growing affection-happiness again-exploding love-sadness-missing someone-sadness-sadness-sadness-change-doubt-speedy heartbeat #3-sadness-hope-the most hopeful hope ever-a rat in your brain-driiin! the telephone rings-anger-infinite sadness.

impotency.

here for you a sample list of facts/feelings which still bridge over two islands going toward the open sea of life: we don't have anyone to care about anymore.

we just have now memories of a beauty spot hidden by the smile and of buffy 70s hair. omani eyebrows and peach bath foam. sweaty bedsheets and chocolate boxes.

my loneliness and his friends.

(December 4, 2007)

Basic needs

donno... need something. anything.

it's strange. i didn't realize before that i'm someone very weak, who always needs something to be fine.

and i don't mean money or dresses or a nice car. i just mean some basic feeling... al-hamdu li-Llah i have some good friends, but what i really need is having someone to care about and who cares about me. a sort of exchange of favours... mmmh, it sounds business...

(December 1, 2007)

Thank God is Friday!

it's a quiet sunny friday on Hamdan Street. sometimes i feel this city could be beautiful. in the early morning, with the fog dripping, or during the week-end, when none is in the street and all the people enjoys his free time with the family at Lulu Island or in the malls. and it's beautiful when you can still hear the birds singing although the jungle of cars and skyscrapers. this is amazing. sometimes you can see a small bunch of grass breaking the tar and coming out to remind you that there is life everywhere, even under the dead petroleum cover.

(November 23, 2007)

Another chance

ok. life always gives us another chance. the problem is that we don't know if it's better than what we experienced before or not. i'm sorry. i'm a little cynical. and drunk. because when you are drunk you always do the right thing. ok, c'mon, not always. i made so many mistakes just 'cause i was drunk. like loving a guy who fucked me up in a country i hate. but this is another story. actually i don't aim talking about rashid (oh, shit! i've pronounced his name!), but about all the guys i've known (especially in abu dhabi. oh, shit! i said the name of the place i'm living in!). 'cause guys are all the same. after a while they just throw you out of their life as a used kleenex. (November 22, 2007)

something for myself

i should do something for myself. i should do something for myself. i should do something for my self. i should do something for myself. i should do something for myself.

keep my mind busy.

knitting. baking cakes. kite surfing. painting on ceramics. folding origami. growing healing herbs. creating new fragrances. yoga. thai boxing. embroidering napkins. aromatherapy. storing sun dried tomatoes. a course to recognize precious stones. dancing salsa. pedicure. manicure. hairdo. wax. sculpting coloured&scented candles. making chocolate eggs. feeding kittens in the street. charitable acts. stop smoking. studying Maths.

autism.

autism.

closure.

i should do something for me. stop thinking. i need a life coach. some explanations about how to stab people and be happy. all you've ever wanted to know about (un)human (mis)relationships in 10 lessons. how to ask someone else's help without feeling a loser.

depression.

sadness.

and emptiness.

when you give too much of yourself, then you realize you didn't keep enough for you: it's like a blanket, too small. you cover one side of your body and it doesn't cover the other side too. and you freeze.

same thing for feelings. it doesn't matter if there are 45 Celsius degree outside: people in this place install a/c even in their hearts so they keep themselves cool and don't burn their minds for something which is not money or big cars or blond russians.

(November 21, 2007)